As a semi-professional Pop Culture Writer, I sometimes have to deal with Media Entities (books, movies, webcomics) that I know are good – special – high quality, yet I simply don’t enjoy… actually, being a semi-professional Pop Culture Writer, I usually can avoid having to deal with them since I’m usually pitching ideas to an editor instead of getting assigned things to write about.

Anyway, Achewood is one of those things. I understand what Chris Onstad is trying to do, agree that he accomplishes it, and appreciate that his creation is Very Important in the History of Webcomics, but I still don’t usually enjoy it.

Today was an exception. I had previously been tickled more than usual by Ray and Téodor’s accidental invention of “hip-hobbit” music, but had to prepare myself for something gruesome when the ironically named Nice Pete reacted badly (which for him means homicidally) to the perceived desecration of his Gothic Elfish Whatever Rock. But then, with two of Achewood’s primary characters chained to his wall, he falls victim to that perpetual computer user’s curse, finding the right software driver for his peripheral device – in his case, a USB stabbing device – and ends up stabbing himself repeatedly in the head. A different kind of gruesome than I was expecting, and one that made me giggle uncontrollably (if a bit guiltily), something Achewood never had done for me before.
If I were Eric Burns, I’d give Onstad a cookie, or a biscuit, or whatever he gives webcomickers who do good. Instead, how about a Ritz Cracker with a square of cheese and a pimento held in place by a tiny model of a bloody knife?

Besides, if I were Eric Burns, I’d be more interested in other things right now. (Congratulations, you uncredited inspiration, you.)