I’ve been mourning the uncerimonious death of Francesco Marciuliano’s web-based “Medium Large” for months now, and wondering if he would ever be able (or allowed) to transfer his satirical mojo over to his day job writing the syndicated working mom strip “Sally Forth”. Of course, anything that doesn’t live up to the highest standards he could blame on Steve Alaniz, who, despite quitting as a co-collaborator several years ago, is still credited by the journalistically credible Washington Post*.

Anyway, mixed in with the Sally’s Mom vs. Sally’s Sister storyline and Ted’s annual Charlie-Brownian attempts at coaching softball, there have been some recent moments**, like this double example of Ted’s extra-odd pop-cultural obsessions in both the main portion and the throwaway panel on a Sunday…
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And this surreal pre-Summer vignette:
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But the latest Sunday strip was remarkable (beyond the fact that a ‘working mom’ strip totally ignored Mother’s Day). Since any web-based version of the strip is too damn small to read, allow me to transcribe these “OFFICE FORTUNE COOKIE MESSAGES”. (And ignore the irony that, if placed on normal sized fortune cookie message papers, these would all be WAY too damn small to read)

YOU’LL SOON DISCOVER YOUR STAFF HAS ALWAYS KNOWN THE PROCLAMATION “BEST MANAGER EVER!” ON YOUR COFFEE MUG IS NOT THE RESULT OF ANY LEGITIMATE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.

EVENTUALLY YOU’LL BE TAKEN TO TASK FOR ENDING EVERY ONE OF YOUR BUSINESS E-MAILS WITH “ZEPPELIN RULES!”

YOUR INABILITY TO DEAL WITH MOUNTING PRESSURE IN THE OFFICE – COUPLED WITH YOUR ALMOST LIMITLESS ACCESS TO SILLY STRING, BODY PAINT AND LARGE MARDI GRAS MASKS – WILL MAKE FOR A VERY ENTERTAINING AND MEMORABLE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

REQUESTING “TONER CARTRIDGES, BETTER TECH SERVICE AND AN OFFICE CHAIR WITH WHEELS” AFTER A GENIE HAS GRANTED YOU THREE WISHES CAN ONLY SPEAK TO A GREATER NEED TO PRIORITIZE IN YOUR LIFE.

*if it makes you feel any better, Ces, my local paper, the San Luis Obispo Tribune, gives you sole credit.

** and somebody pleae tell Josh the Curmudgeon that the Forths are not nearly as sex-obsessed as he is obsessed about comic strip characters having sex.