Hey, you whippersnappers! Yeah, it’s old Funnypapers Geezer here, and I remember back in the day when comic strip artists didn’t go on vacation, they just kept churning out new attempts at funniness every day, or they built up a buffer of several months before they took off, ’cause they never made jokes about anything current, or if they were really successful and not Charles Schulz, they had a bunch of underpaid assistants who did all the work and you didn’t know when the ‘real’ cartoonist was working or not. I thought of that when I saw that Sunday’s Foxtrot was a rerun from a little over three years ago.


How did I know it was a rerun? Well, look at the subject matter: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” had stopped being popular almost that long ago, and Tech TV, well, it has just plain stopped being after it was absorbed into another cable channel. Besides, I had written a blog post about the comic the first time it was published. It was pretty good too. Unfortunately, all my blogging from around that time did not survive one of my various changes in software or hosting, but fortunately, I do still have a text file of it, so I can republish it now, and it’ll look brand new… except for the fact that I just told you it isn’t, and, besides “Queer Eye” stopped being popular almost three years ago…

But about the same time that this comic ran, the highly esteemed web-based humor publication McSweeney’s did a piece on “Spin-Offs of ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'”:

Tall Eye for the Short Guy

Jew Eye for the Goy Guy

Jedi for the Darth Vader Guy

Philadelphia Eye for the Pittsburgh Guy

Arizona Diamondbacks Right-handed Reliever Matt Mantei for the Phillies’ Set-up Guy

And that was it. That was all. I should feel guilty for copying the whole thing, but I rarely use quotes of less than 35 words. Now, this was brought to my attention by kottke’s remaindered links, and I left the following comment there:

Damn, I could write a better list myself in two minutes!
Timer starts… Now!
Glass Eye for the Blind Guy
Third Eye for the Totally Non-Introspective Guy
Third Eye for the Blind Guy
Slant Eye for the Caucasian Guy (oooh… racial tackylanguage; sure to get attention now!)
Minutiae for the Big Picture Guy
Kottke Eye for…
Time’s Up!

Of course, I couldn’t just stop after two minutes so I also came up with…

Black Eye for the Redneck Guy
CSI for the ER Guy
MCI for the WorldCom Guy
Blue Eye for the Red-State Guy
Bloodshot Eye for the Sober Guy
Electric Eye for the Gas Company Guy
Simpsons Eye for the Family Guy
Tommy Walsh DIY for the Designer Guys
(reference to two cable shows that were a lot less popular than “Queer Eye”)
(and for ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’) Aye Aye for the Arrrrrr Guy

As for my ending for Kottke Eye
Actually, I never figured that one out…

I’ve digressed from the comics-oriented theme of this blog enough. For more Queer Eyed commentary, see my other blog