Benjamin Dewey’s Tragedy Series is a sepia-toned, semi-Victorian-styled, often insightful and amusing-to-hilarious webcomic that illustrates some of the misfortunes, large AND small, banal AND absurd, that befall people, animals, mythical beings and sometimes tableware. A nicely all-encompassing theme executed with enough variety to never wear out the joke. Each illustration is accompanied by what one commenter called “mastery of the English language of Douglas Adams-esque proportions.”

Each with a usually-randomly-selected “Tragedy Number”. Dewey has stated that he’s limiting the series to 500 Tragedies plus 26 (alphabetical, A-Z) Sadness Reprieves – which does not explain why he has shown none numbered over #398 (yes, I’m keeping track). If you’d like something tragic “to decorate your foyer or hang adjacent to your cabinet of curiosities” (his words), Dewey has made all of them available as prints.

Anyway, after more than 320 Tragedies over 18 months, in the last week of 2012 the Series filled in the long-absent Tragedy #1: “She thinks this is as bad as it gets.”. And it’s an appropriate choice… because, for a lot of people, it is Tragedy #1.

The whole series had begun in July of 2011, with, oddly enough, Tragedy #2: “Pushed Down Stairs By Great Ape”:

And with so many numbered items in no particular order, it is an irresistable temptation for an O.C.B. (Obsessive-Compulsive Blogger) to put them all in numerical order. And I am an S.O.B. of an O.C.B., so here are the so-far published Tragedies through February 28th, 2013… (and remember, while some of the captions describe the pictures directly, others provide interesting interpretations you won’t see until you click the links)

#3: The bees all hate your new spectacles
#4: Bunny read a bunch of sad books; now she can’t stop crying
#5: Indoor orchids plagued by survivors guilt
#6: Sasquatch regularly doubts his own existence
#7: Perambulator fire
#8: Level of trust in the community at all time low after recent ‘bodysnatcher’ incident
#9: Axe apocalypse
#10: Sometimes one must share a pod with some real duds
#11: Submersible commandeered by bears
#12: One mystery that the great detective could never solve: what’s wrong with kids these days?
#13: Then he discovered why no others had completed the quest
#14: Secret lobster claws
#15: His life was better as a frog

#17: Perpetually deadlocked over dinner options
#18: Sensitive cloud’s pride wounded by unflattering comparisons
#19: Recurrent sandwich wrench
#20: Her calm contemplation corner is compromised by cacophonous cads
#21: Source of omnipresent maple odor as yet unidentified

#23: Koala faux pas

#25: Her muse won’t move on from death and doughnuts
#26: She believes that he’s innocent but draws the line at harboring a fugitive
#27: Unbeatable yeti barred from all subsequent competition
#28: Extreme shushing squad cracks down on audible page turning
#29: Farmer thinks he planted turnip seeds
#30: Log misses being part of a tree
#31: Humpback disenchanted with his ‘classic’ material
#32: Even the rarest and most exquisite of gears still serves the machinetragedy32
#33: Onion shares your secrets
#34: Young mantis never knew his dad and his mom won’t talk about it
#35: Her costume was a conversation topic; her heroism went totally unmentioned
#36: The rifts between them lead to a slow and messy break-up
#37: Hypochondriac romance peaks at chaste staring
#38: The blob-fish always show up when you’re trying to eat yogurt
#39: Impressionable gargoyle has nobody to look up to
#40: Unrequitted loaf
#41: Big city living leaves him without a response to the call of the wild
#42: Walk in the park is unexpectedly arduous
#43: Wobbly cauldron
#44: Erudite ram stands alone in his embrace of the dialectic
#45: Collaboration bridge between Ambitionville and Leisuretown is only ever half-completed
#46: Poor baby, fortunate daddy
#47: The stars that she wished upon went supernova weeks ago
#48: The skeletons in her closet have been making ill-fitting alterations to her wardrobe
#49: ‘Spittoon Lagoon’ spawns a vengeful terror
#50: The armor doesn’t shield him from character attacks
#51: After years of drifting apart, this staring-contest is all the buzzard brothers have left
#52: Head stuck in dive helmet during wedding
#53: Argument over sash & slogan selection disintegrates emu/suffragette alliance

#55: Spirit quest results defy definitive analysis
#56: She had imagined something more grand when they promised a ‘race around the globe’
#57: The only one worthy of the sword has no hands to grasp it
#58: Neighboring island’s declaration of war misinterpreted as invitation to beach party
#59: Optimistic glass often mistaken for half-empty brothertragedy59
#60: The gazelles respond negatively to bath time
#61: Wrong castle
#62: Thereafter, the river continued rising; the town regretted banishing the beavers

#64: Ice Queen can never imbibe hot coffee
#65: The inheritance comes with a responsibility
#66: Perilous turn in cycling tryst
#67: Reclusive parakeet’s dismissal of exciting invitations irks his envious attendants
#68: Inappropriate bubbles compromise peace process
#69: Sharpest tool in the shed depressed by the scope of discussion with duller implements
#70: Viking chief roused from nightmare
#71: Nary a one of them remembered jam for the crumpets

#73: Those who wander into the secret manatee meeting cove never emerge again
#74: New bookcase doesn’t share your taste

#77: Trial by fire ants
#78: Adding googly-eyes only made the creature creepier
#79: Fancy pants academy struts superiority in front of the school of hard knocks
#80: Laziest lemur has even grown tired of lying around
#81: The dishes don’t care whose turn it is; they just want to feel clean again
#82: Casual attire is forbidden among the Emperors
#83: Another meal ruined by fahrenheit v. celsius
#84: Were it not for time, space and language, these three would be the best of friends
#85: You have no monocle insurance
#86: Constables cannot get a straight story from a babbling brook

#88: Hippo’s wig collection makes him a prisoner of possessions
#89: Picky magician dissatisfied by soup
#90: They suddenly appear in the sky, shrieking unspeakably
#91: Either oar but not both
#92: Rabid shrews occupy her shoes
#93: Psychic beetle’s dire warning won’t reach the president in time

#95: Missing pet doesn’t want to be found
#96: Avoid keeping all your valuables in one location
#97: Mermaids cannot reach the delicious blueberries
#98: He’s old enough, he has the money; they still won’t sell it
#99: Someone mixed up a whole mess of oatmeal in the old well
#100: A hundred years of hiccupstragedy100
#101: Alas, the vital parcel they await fell into a ravine
#102: Scarecrow’s date accepts offer to be with a ‘real man’
#103: Tigers take ice cream
#104: Conquered by kudzu

#106: Now eagle understands; even his oft superior vision is a mere sliver of the electromagnetic spectrum
#107: His mythic deeds decreased markedly after obtaining the legendary helm of procrastination

#109: Amorphous blob has no regard for waiting list
#110: No one is buying lemonade
#111: The woeful tale of Li’l Meowskers Part I: Balloon race mishap
#112: The woeful tale of Li’l Meowskers Part II: Tossed about, for sport, upon the open sea
#113: The woeful tale of Li’l Meowskers Part III: Marooned on Sludge Island

#118: Alicorn breakage
#119: The musk ox mob owns the streets
#120: Sentimental prospector can’t bear to part with baby-head shaped nugget
#121: Inhabiting two worlds; socially awkward in both
#122: Substandard enunciation results in ‘fabulous witches’
#123: There is such a thing as too spicy
#124: Tea kettle attack
#125: Bashful statue holds in her tears until it rains
#126: He can soar above anything except his past at sea
#127: The magmanauts didn’t harvest enough stalagmites to appease the lava overlord
#128: A slew of dirty-dish discoveries sullies the clean plate club’s reputation
#129: Irritable giraffes have a strict “no guff” policy
#130: Meeting his heroes was disheartening
#131: When you buy budget invisibility serum you get what you pay for
#132: At this latitude, the worst night of your life can last for months
#133: Organ grinder and monkey partnership publicly collapses
#134: His logic was preserved but his dance moves were suppressed
#135: World’s best crowbar sits unused
#136: Doppelgänger intercepts affections intended for you
#137: Sea otters read your diary and eat your love letters
#138: Future generations will consider him a visionary genius
tragedy139“>#139: Following the bouncing ball was a bad idea
#140: Counting each other didn’t work; the sheep can’t sleep
#141: Spurned elephant seal seeks revenge
#142: Ogre monopolizes teeter-totter
#143: The night-cow feasts on their sweetest dreams
#144: In all the merriment, Lord and Lady Brambleshire sprain their tea-fingers

#146: Paranoid pugilists annual picnic yields inevitable fisticuffs flurry

#148: Moths eat the only map to Atlantis
#149: They deemed it ‘striking but not exhibit worthy’
#150: Elderly dog flat-out refuses to try learning any gnu-tricks
#151: He can see parallel worlds; he is better off in all of them
#152: Magic fountain resents charity, ignores all the wishes
#153: No cupcakes permitted at the cotillion
#154: Loving couple’s varmints despise one another
#155: Cereal baron halts all production
#156: Teenage pony clique ravaged by scandalous gossip
#157: It was her thing long before it was the latest thing
#158: Prodigy piglet wins the spelling bee and his parents could not care less
#159: Each owner of the golden pipe meets an early and unusual end
#160: The impenetrable fortress denies access to all, including funtimes and care packages
#161: Increasingly absurd status-symbol umbrellas impede movement on the boulevards
#162: Tsar, thylacine and phrenologist share a toast to a bright future
#163: Claustrophobic brick starting to get nervous
#164: Until they were exposed, those two kids were the best surgeon in the world
#165: Persistent insect actually her late sweetheart reincarnated
#166: His world-peace machine did not impress women so he dismantled it
#167: Another naive marshall falls for Possum Pete’s old ruse
#168: In her slumber, she cross stitches shockingly foul things
#169: Giant monster convention convened in your village
#170: Creative chameleon can blend in anywhere except where he grew up
#171: They were really looking forward to pie
#172: Lungfish foreclosure
#173: The account of his prior shopping conduct is simple slander
#174: Secretary of pegasus preservation is grossly incompetent
#175: Polymath anteater’s many other abilities go unacknowledged
#176: ‘Stew in the battle-horn’ is a good prank unless barbarians are cresting the hills
#177 Those who joined the shadowy organization to engage in skullduggery were let down badly
#178: Sloth diplomacy failure
#179: Squirrel’s anthology of moon poems makes everything else seem trite
#180: Snuggle cub needs a cuddle
#181: Four stubbornly courteous drivers remain at crossroads, indefinitely refusing right of way
#182: Decades of teaching indifferent unrchins leaves professor seahorse weary
#183: Things that go bump in the night have nothing to do during the day
#184: Most melancholy girl outdone by morbid ostrich
#185: Art-icon revisits his beloved early oeuvre with embarrassing additions
#186: Do not invite pixies to tea
#187: The light at the end of the tunnel was a murderous orb
#188: Gauntlet has become too fragile and valuable to throw down anymore
#189: The bloodlust wins out despite a profound love of opera

#191: Grass is greener because it envies the adjacent field’s frequent guests

#193: Centaur unable to attend treehouse bash

#197: Zombie barber can’t keep a job
#198: The memory of that ugly mule working a butter churn dogged him all his days
#199: Polite society was bristling with scorn after one waltz
#200: The 183rd royal whiskered baboon battalion gains control of your grand foyer
#201: Chocolate factory meltdown
#202: The grandiose graham cracker stacks held up until the birds migrated back
#203: This is why we can’t have nice thingstragedy203
#204: Great thinker’s beauty often overshadows her brilliant work
#205: Poor old bucket-shoes turned away from yet another fancy bistro
#206: He spent his entire fortune on pinwheels simply to be near her
#207: The ‘crying stump’ only seats one at a time

#209: Wolf and pelican are no longer on speaking terms
#210: Your lantern light draws out the sewer mutants
#211: He was always too busy gazing at the stars to watch his own back
#212: No amount of massaging can work out these knots
#213: Lizards with scissors take to the streets
#214: Top-notch town crier’s turf overtaken by subpar shouters
#215: Parasite more popular than host
#216: Manifesting the eccentric dream of fudge-mansion cost him everything else
#217: Mice misplace their nicest dice amongst the rice
#218: Tourists arrive before he could post all the warning signs
#219: Desert combo can’t seem to generate and audience
#220: Fancy chair won’t let you sleep in
#221: Her uncouth display of privilege ensured no further social invitations
#222: Foolish ragamuffins challenge hungry lion to a rematch
#223: Hefty tolls result in less traffic on the high road
#224: Couple’s first kiss foiled by rude rooster
#225: Corset scorpions
#226: Mole men steal all the cheese
#227: Unlit lighthouse and wet socks
#228: Well-meaning dentist driven from Candytown
#229: They’re good enough to know how far they are from being the best
#230: The ghost of his dear departed is haunting someone new
#231: The effects of the flight potion wore off over land
#232: Fertility masks are not allowed in the classroom
#233: Archenemies develop inseparable buddy-whiskers
#234: All the prime lurking spots are taken
#235: A new round of hide and seek begins without any of them looking for horse
#236: Soulmates, each engrossed in same tome, never meet
#237: Handshake deal overridden by hugging compact
#238: Kiwi thought that he and strawberry had something special
#239: Arriving too late for cake
#240: Capybara’s blanket is trapped under a rock
#241: Comb loses several teeth during fight with brush
#242: Shy sorcerer can only perform his fantastic feats in solitude
#243: They tried to pilfer his scarf; now they were going to pay
#244: Despite a lifetime of adventures, Lord Falcon T. Lightningspear failed to acquire an impressive nickname
#245: Early inventor hits her sophomore slump
#246: Life gives lemons to everybody but you
#247: Grandfather clock disappointed by descendants

#249: They were instructed not to open the box; so why was it left with them?
#250: Kraken attends regatta gala uninvited
#251: Shunned by the rest for flaunting math skills instead of pretty plumage
#252: The Oracle has dispensed advice for 10,000 years; nobody ever asks how she’s doing
#253: Poseidon derails a seaside proposal

#256: Every kitchen is too hot for Chef Snowman
#257: Just once, he would like to wear them without someone commentingtragedy257
#258: Time machine crash
#259: Cyclops catch
#290: Metal rod-hat dance fad short lived
#261: Pterodactyl frustrates every attempt at pastoral painting
#262: Selfish cat withholds recipe for joy

#266: When the empire collapsed his sense of purpose went with it
#267: Not the right keys
#268: Seemingly idyllic swimming hole is the entrance to abomination’s lair

#270: Taxidermist and necromancer make bad roommates

#272: One hammerhead on your doorstep may be a fluke; three of them is a dark omen

#274: Bagpipe spectres

#276: She remains unmoved by didgeridoo serenade
#277: The thing under the bed has starting inviting friends over
#278: Hypnotist husband & wife irrevocably trigger each other mid-spat
#279: Slide down from summit is out of order
#280: Don’t roast peanuts in the crow’s-nest
#281: Harsh critic uses broom to express her disapproval of spider’s latest work
#282: Panther-ninja’s gift is also his curse; no one notices him during parties
#283: Apples learn the truth about life beyond the orchard
#284: Perfectly good boot can’t recall how he ended up in the street without a partner
#285: She came to this moor to enjoy the gloom and they are spoiling it
#286: Rapscallions abscond with your dirigible while you were enjoying pudding
#287: The cane with a blade in it is still at home
#288: Drunken elephant crushed your bed again
#289: She lacks a body; she still has feelings
#290: Art-student vampire unable to complete self portrait assignmenttragedy290
#291: Set upon by salesmen
#292: Hatter-haberdasher stumped by unique patron
#293: Gifted girl can hear the plants talk and they are unrelentingly boring
#294: Titanic toad blocks the road
#295: Aided by the wind, her favorite dress makes a break for it
#296: Vigilante chimney sweep beginning to lose faith in the fight against crime and soot
#297: Defeating his nemesis takes the zest out of villainy
#298: Magnet dismayed by his strong attraction to dangerous types
#299 Crows won’t go
#300: Llama don’t allow no privacy ’round here
#301: Establishment already at full capacity of eccentric patrons
#302: Mortified by parents’ affection in front of the horde
#303: Not a mirage
#304: Upon asking it became evident that this audience was, most decidedly, not ready to rock
#305: Friendly flag waves all day; nobody waves back
#306: Rhino’s day-job is making him bitter
#307: The other herbs and spices all agree; a little bit of saffron goes a long way
#308: Her new perfume attracts circus-folk
#309: 200 angry wombats with parcels to send; 1 available clerk
#310: He intended to protect the puddle from her cruel boots
#311: The troll receives your promotion
#312: Your moustache frightens the baby goats
#313: The recent appearance of massive carnivorous cabbages confirms the curse
#314: Deposed King Cobras turn to a life of crime
#315: The line took so long that the season changed while they waited
#316: Old figurehead still gets seasick
#317: Greatest creation escaped unfinished
#318: He put too much faith in his lucky charm
#319: Chipmunk dogged by persistent and irrational fear of losing his prize peanut
#320: Boiler-bot not constructed to know love

#322: You’ve never had real eyebrows; they were actually undercover caterpillars
#323: The clumsy taper-twins knock each other out while attempting a ‘high five’
#324: Suave mummy’s perfect date about to unravel

#327: Banjo infestation
#328: Frosty toddler frequently assailed with ‘goofy’ antics
#329: Your turncoat parrot leads another mutiny
#331: Your imaginary friend holds you accountable for her lack of interesting qualities
#332: Stingy bridge keeper must have his toll: ne exceptions for chivalrous exploits
#333: The giant centipede from upstairs bought tap shoes
#334: People don’t take Sheriff Puppy seriouslytragedy334
#335: Adolescent dragon claims your wheelbarrow
#336: Apathetic messenger bird neglects to deliver armistice agreement
#337: One of the so-called ‘perfect solids’ caught cheating
#338: Ivory tower inhabitants require a resupply from those they’ve ridiculed
#339: Starfish can regrow a lost limb but not mend her broken heart
#340: Potato pyramid less astounding than promised
#341: The other titans refuse to cover for Atlas so he never gets a turn
#342: Moss-beast has no help building fun fort
#343: High-wire break-up

#346: Her hair could not be tamed so she was forced to set it free
#347: It’s harder to shrug it off when they say it about your musicianship
#348: Rocket privileges revoked as punishment for Friday night shenanigans
#349: Emergency turtle deplores willful risk-takers
#350: A modest kerfuffle descends into wild foofaraw

#352: There is no muffin-basket lavish enough to excuse his behavior at her sister’s garden party
#353: Pancakes foretell your downfall
#354: They should have known that the shed wouldn’t hold it
#355: Vanilla discovers the nature of public opinion
#356: Rogue hummingbirds devise a plan to sup upon fresh human brains

#358: They’ve stolen the shoes that go best with her new bow
#359: Their choice of pineapples in place of pistols only made the duel worse

#361: Platypus perturbed by platitudes

#363: Triceratops never got to see ocean
#364: Six degrees of separation was not enough

#366: Everyone forgot alligator’s birthday

#368: Flying carpet won’t be tamed
#369: Final words obscured by carrot crunching lout
#370: Dolphin’s girlfriend liked him better with a beard
#371: Ongoing eggplant effrontery

#373: Ticket holders at ‘ectoplasm explosion’ were thrilled; the cutodian was not
#374: Chupacabra’s mythical status and philosophy degree hinder job prospects
#375: Badger bothered and baffled by owl’s baseless renown as the wisest in the woods
#376: They said it would never fly; they were right
#377: Crystal ball offers only insults
#378: Jump rope obsession prompts bureaucratic breakdown

#380: She’s sick of looking at his ugly mug
#381: Seagull unwittingly taunts the barnacles via tales of travel
#382: It was only chores after all
#383: Rough stones don’t get skipped

#386: ‘God given’ talent not relevant in her lifetime

#388: Wolfman won’t get to finish his novel
#389: Little pangolin sings too softly to be heard in the jungle choir
#390: Count Cookie-Pockets painfully aware of what maintains his entourage
#391: Curmudgeon’s quiet Sunday plans thwarted by jubilationtragedy391

#393: Crundleton Manor is awash in pythons

#395: Mighty stag’s guttural bellowing spoils opening night

#397: The treasure he had sought for so long is literally another man’s trash
#398: Spring has sprung

Sadness Reprieves

Fig.B: Small friend, tall friend
Fig.C: He loves every aspect of her

Fig.F: ‘Nature’s bandits’ give back

Fig. H: Squids at play

Fig.M: Sock puppet regains his sight
Fig.N: Cowardly caravan overcomes their top three phobias en route

Fig.P: The kingdom flourished under a just and compassionate ruler
Fig.Q: Gregarious geese fly in friendly formation
Fig.R: He let his inner-demons out to frolic in the sun

Fig.T: Leopard finds it surprisingly easy to change her spots
Fig.U: Tumbleweed transcends her roots and roams the world

Fig.W: Gavel’s family doesn’t understand the nature of his work but they’re proud of his success

Fig.Y: Minotaur quits maze work to practice the cello
Fig.Z: Years apart couldn’t diminish their connection

UNCATEGORIZED: Monarchtopus begs your pardon

Yet unrevealed are Tragedies #16, #22, #24, #54, #63, #72, #75, #76, #87, #94, #105, #108, #114, #115, #116, #117, #145, #147, #190, #192, #194, #195, #196, #208, #248, #254, #255, #263, #264, #265, #269, #271, #273, #275, #321, #325, #326, #344, #345, #351, #357, #360, #362, #365, #367, #372, #379, #384, #385, #387, #392, #394, #396 and everything from #399 on. Also awaiting Sadness Reprieves A, D, E, G, I, J, K, L, O, S, V and X.

I can’t believe I linked the WHOLE THING.