Quotable Diesel Sweeties

“…that’s the kind of weird panel I love to see people take out of context.” – rstevens (dieselsweeties.com and clango.com)

Well, I just love cartoonists who make panels that can be taken out of context for their own entertainment value (with extra points when they are not the final ‘punch line’ frame). Sometimes, you don’t even need the picture, just the words. So, as my last-ditch effort to win something from rstevens‘ Secret Satan stash of evil prizes, (at dieselsweeties.com and clango.com), I present my favorite Context-Free Diesel Quoties from the last hundred-some-odd strips:

Do you know what threats and puns have in common? Both are useless if they don’t make sense to their audience!
I know, that was two lines from two frames…

Ninjas buried in concrete make more noise than me!

I’m more still than a dead Buddhist’s heart!

I’m further under the radar than a groundbreaking band without a MySpace page!

There are videos on YouTube that last longer than my relationships.

The only good ideas are the ones I can take credit for.

Almost only counts in Craig’s List and hand grenades.

It’s not my fault if you bring nerf to a gun fight.

If I don’t practice screwing up, how will I ever become President?

The best part of coffee is the caramel and the sugar and the whipped cream and the bacon bits.

Maybe it’s not “good” fat, but it means well.

I am moist and throbbing, but otherwise fine.

“Fun” is just a scam created by marketers to sell chocolate condoms and tortilla chips.

I was home-schooled in a broken home. My major was receiving gifts from guilty parents.

If you’re not scaring people, you’re letting the terrorists win.

If a tree falls in a forest and nobody burns it, do I still need to recycle?

MySpace is none of your business. (No one ever made that joke before.)

My life may suck but it sucks exactly the way I like it!

Acute girl can make me so obtuse.

Don’t force me to take these commandments all the way to eleven.

Unconditional love is rarer than chocolate kryptonite.

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